This few days had been really craaazeee... A few of us settled for a “chat” and it made me learnt and found out about quite a number of things, and this next entry is my reflection on the “chat” and other certain issue and serve as a reminder for myself.
1. I realized that my EQ and AQ are unfortunately horribly low and that I get overly paranoid at times, so much so that I think I’m slightly schizophrenic, perhaps due to this extent because of stress and various problems, I’m not sure. Also, I’m extremely impulsive. One thing for sure, I need to remind myself not to worry so much.
2. I shouldn’t expect my friends to fit my definition of “friends”, as everyone is special in their own ways, and I can never get to truly understand each and every one of them. Furthermore, it wouldn’t be as interesting if every one of my friends behave the way I expect them to be. Some people are relatively more introverted and it takes more effort to break their defenses and react differently to my attempts to be friendly. And aloofness is not equal to hostility. Sometimes, we just clique better with some people. Some examples below (though I sort of drifted halfway through)
vanessa told me that she had this friend who was in the same class with her for >6 years but till now they are merely classmates; unlike the both of us, who started talking because we take the same bus to school and bernie actually mistook us for OG mates.
Speaking about bernie, we share the interest for music, movie, shopping and basically a lot of different interests, and the most important of all, we love crapping and doing stupid stuff a lot.
lulu was an even crazier example, 2 days was all it takes to become one of my best friends. Basically, we do not have much common interest, we just clique.
wei jia was an interesting example, same horoscope maybe? We happen to just settle down one Monday afternoon in the library and started talking about very personal stuff.
Someone I knew since sec 1 but I didn’t really clique with. I’m really glad we had the chance to actually speak about how we felt, although this came a little late, which means we need to treasure next year.
Anyway, I also found out that one of my primary classmates whom I thought was really mean towards me, actually wanted to befriend with me all along, just that we couldn’t clique.
uncle matthew is a very nice guy and I really want to thank him for spending time to listen to me crap and also the immense help he offered to guide me through my salvation (and this particular person I don’t know very well intended to take some *ahem photos) anyway, he can sing all his oldies (evergreen, as how he describe them) very well, and was titled the champ of the day during the k box outing no. 2, class outing no. 4.
quan min, we just started talking on the bus too, before we found out that we’re both from SNCO. Come to think of it, I haven’t heard from you lately.
gladys!!! Friends forever!!! Though we seldom meet now, we still remember each other.
That ex-classmate in NJC, I’m not sure why I suddenly think of you.
And lastly, the person I loved, I never knew how you felt, maybe because you had been too ambiguous, but I had never felt so strongly about anyone before and till now, I don’t understand why. I’m confused. Is it time to let go?
3. I didn’t realize until yesterday that I’ve got so much angst and unhappiness that I’d been bottling up all this while, that I actually lashed out at a few people. Sorry bout that. I learnt that there is a need to solve a relationship problem by tackling it directly with the person involved, instead of dragging more people into the picture and made it more complicated.
4. I commented recently about one of my best friend’s straightforwardness and that being too frank and critical is not good, after yesterday, I learnt that sometimes, you need to be frank with certain people, especially with your friends. And I was really harsh when I brought out the point to her, but I’m actually very glad that she took an effort to change, which also tells me that I need to make an effort to change as well and yet despite this, she is still so concerned about me and stood by me throughout all my problems, especially with the salvation issue.
5. Always look on the bright side. Just received a sms and the message it was trying to deliver was that life is how you see it. God created me for a reason, and problems are just tests to train and roughen me and to prepare me to do wonders. If I look at the bright side, it would make this path a lot easier and reduce the sufferings.
6. We all overlook people's strength and focuses too much on their flaws. Especially how I view people I disliked. Guess, it is inevitable, but I pray that my eyes may be open to view the good side of the people around me.
7.
8. I found this from the introductory edition of “Our Daily Bread” that lulu gave me ”The best time to stop a fight is before it starts”
Something I found in the Encarta dictionary:
lulu (n)
Somebody or something outstanding: a remarkable or outstanding person, object, or idea (slang)
9. I still need to apologise to someone, but I’ll leave it aside for a few days for this to cool down.
10. And finally I was surprised with the amount of tears I have.
Do I feel lonely? Yah. But I missed out the fact that God is always there to listen to my prayers.
Here’s something from green day’s lyrics:
“She’s all alone again wiping the tears from her eyes” – Extraordinary Girl
“Give me a long kiss goodnight and everything will be alright” – Give Me Novocain
Well, though I very much want someone to be there for me always but there’s no one to ‘kiss me goodnight’. It’s alright, I’ll survive.
Oh, and something from Busted
“I could have been a loser kid and ran away and hid. I said I'd do it and I did.” – Crash the Wedding
And, Atomic Kitten
“You’re not here but it’s ok” – It’s Alright
Finally I shall end off with a song, although people are telling me that my blog is getting boring because of too many songs... sorry! I can’t help it.
Song #47
Atomic Kitten – Cradle
I will rock you like a baby, I will,
Cradled in my arms,
I will keep you safe from danger,
Shelter you from harm...
There will never be another lover,
Who treats you like I do,
We can drift into forever,
On a love that’s made for two...
Don’t you ever say this love’s not special,
Don’t you ever think its not essential...
Baby...
I was only thinking of you,
Hoping you were thinking of me,
Two hearts beating just like one,
Against the world...
Baby...
I am always dreaming of you,
Hoping you are dreaming of me,
I could never live,
One day without your love...
I will kiss you like an angel, baby,
Cradled in my wings,
I will take you up to heaven,
Show you precious things...
If you promise that you love me,
If you promise that you care,
I will be here for you always,
And forever this I swear...
Don’t you ever say this love’s not special,
Don’t you ever think its not essential...
Baby...
I was only thinking of you,
Hoping you were thinking of me,
Two hearts beating just like one,
Against the world...
Baby...
I am always dreaming of you,
Hoping you are dreaming of me,
I could never live one day,
Without your love...
Though you say you want a love,
But you don’t think you believe it,
Just open up your heart,
And you know you will receive it...
Oh baby...
Baby...
Don’t you ever say this love’s not special, oh
Don’t you ever think its not essential...
Baby...
I was only thinking of you,
Hoping you were thinking of me,
Two hearts beating just like one,
Against the world...
Baby...
I was only dreaming of you,
Hoping you were dreaming of me,
I could never live one day,
Without your love...
I was only, I was only, I was only thinking of you...
I was only, I was only, I was only thinking of you...
I was only, I was only, I was only thinking of you...
I was only, I was only, I was only thinking... oh baby
Posted by gal_blue | 
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