I asked, "am I happy?"
someone "you always look so happy."
Me, "its all fake"
I wrote this on the last day of term 2. Well, maybe the person who asked me that won’t be reading this, but I hope he does understand what I said the other time.
What makes me happy? Many things, I would say. Ranging from hanging out with friends, a smile from anyone, getting a new CD to Germany winning world cup, good grades… etc, etc… I am contented with what I have, its like, I worked hard enough to my abilities, I worked hard, studied hard, played hard and practically enjoyed hard. I wake up everyday telling myself today will be a good day. Maybe not all, I love my gfs, gals who stick by me even if I scream at them. I love my classmates who cheered me up with all the funny jokes. Actually, I never felt so split until JC. Is it the wrong choice? No. I think I did well here and people are great and fun. So what is wrong?
I feel pathetic. I still feel sore about what happened last year and now, I never felt more insincere than this year. I still don’t really know what actually wrong and I can only come up with hypothetical explanation: I talk too much and had to shoulder all the blame.
I’m sorry, I’ll avoid you but it won’t be obvious. You are too complicated for me. You were the one to cheer me up, yet you brought unhappiness to my life.
Happiness is ephemeral and superficial. Unhappiness last the years – unfortunately. I need to change this fact, lest I cry again.
Send me a guardian angel for happiness to last the years – someone simple and innocent
Cheers
g
Posted by gal_blue | 
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