True enough, I must say, that I’m rather perverse and obstinate, always a little “extra” and doing things my way. I’m also, a little “too smart for my own good”, always the sole girl competitor in the Mathematics and Science field, though not studying at all. I see it as gift, but yet in a way a joke and challenge from God; somehow, I felt I would be better off born a boy. Being too straightforward and critical is one problem I got. My air of arrogance actually offended a lot of people, which explains why I got bashed up by two girls in the girls’ toilet in primary four. Perhaps my primary school is not exactly the most optimum place to study in, looking at how narrow-minded some people are, and how easy it is to make people jealous. However, it is where I spent 6 of my most important years in, learning and spending time in a place where I was rather lonely, yet made lasting friends. At the end of the 6 years, being top of my game in primary school, with help from the gift from God, I managed to get into a regime where no one in my primary schools’ cohort can reach. That is, to get into secondary school where none of them can get in. I became a lone ranger and explored out of this “comfort zone”, into the world of secondary school, where I find things a lot more innocent and less complicated.
Scandal issues were already prevalent in my primary school days, often being the target of ridicule, about every flaws and imperfection I have. I admit, languages are gigantic barriers I need to cross and I truly regretted not working hard enough. However, there is nothing much I can do about my physical being, being born in such shape and size. This blurred my visions several times, when I cried and prayed silently for help, and yet helped me see much clearly, as to who my true buddies are. Scandals also in a way made me lose my comfort in someone, losing a great soul-mate. The transition to secondary school had indeed pained me, and my heart bleeds. I no longer feel comfortable around that someone and I certainly can not say how I feel. Now, after 4 years, I’m still clinging on to the past, wishing I could let go, of all the memories and feelings. However I understood that no matter how much I try, there is no way, no way could I truly forget, these memories had became part of me to make me what I am now. The only thing I could do is to approach life in a different attitude to let innocence once again rule my heart.
Posted by gal_blue | 
« Home | it’s a shame there’s no one 2 blame 4 all the pain... » //-->
Add a comment: